The allure of multigenerational living has taken hold in recent years, with many families finding deeper connections, financial benefits, and new family dynamics along the way. A Pew Research Center study reports that nearly 60 million Americans live in multigenerational households, a fourfold increase since 1971. For the Cohen-Roach family, three generations under one roof was an unplanned journey that revealed valuable lessons about family, space, and compromise.
A Shift in Living Arrangements
Sal Cohen was living alone in his cozy three-bedroom Seattle home when his daughter Dominique’s plans to build a nearby house fell through. Before he knew it, Sal’s peaceful home transformed into a lively environment, welcoming Dominique, her husband Geoff, their two young sons, and a family dog. His quiet days gave way to shared meals, toys scattered across the floor, and a delightful chaos that became the new family rhythm.
While Sal lost some personal space, he gained new connections and cherished moments with his grandkids. From weekly dinners to impromptu soccer games in the backyard, he experienced firsthand the joys and challenges of multigenerational living.
The Rising Trend and Benefits of Multigenerational Living
For many families, the primary motivation for sharing a home is financial. Housing costs, childcare, and food are significant expenses that can be shared across generations. As real estate expert Hao Dang notes, a larger home may initially seem like a financial stretch, but it’s typically cheaper than maintaining two separate households. In high-cost areas like Bellevue, Washington, where Hao works, it’s increasingly common to see extended families seeking large homes or properties with accessory dwelling units (ADUs) for this reason.
In addition to cost savings, multigenerational living allows families to pool resources for caregiving, both for young children and older adults. These considerations are essential as they add convenience and emotional support for family members who might otherwise need to seek help outside the home.
Key Elements for a Harmonious Household
Despite its many benefits, multigenerational living presents unique challenges, especially when it comes to space and privacy. Both Sal and Hao emphasize the importance of having separate areas within the home for individuals to retreat to. Hao’s advice for those considering multigenerational homes includes looking for properties with four or more bedrooms, multiple bathrooms, and even basements or ADUs.
Sal’s own experience running a home-building company has given him valuable insights into the layouts that work best for large families. He learned that having rooms with doors—and even multiple levels—adds flexibility and a buffer for family members who need a break from the household hubbub. Ideally, a home for multigenerational living should offer a mix of communal areas and quiet spaces, allowing for both connection and solitude as needed.
Top Tips for Multigenerational Living
- Separate, Private Spaces: Rooms with doors or entire floors for individual family units help maintain privacy, especially for work-from-home situations.
- Multiple Levels and Bathrooms: Having a bathroom on each level is ideal for larger families and can make daily routines smoother.
- Neighborhood Amenities: Choose areas that offer walkable access to parks, shops, or other conveniences. Outdoor areas for play and relaxation are a plus.
- Flexible Living Spaces: Consider homes with ADUs or space for them, as these can provide rental income or an option for added family privacy.
- Shared Routines and Clear Communication: Establish routines and communicate openly to minimize conflict. Shared tasks like cooking and babysitting can help balance responsibilities and make life easier.
Beyond Finances: Building Stronger Family Bonds
For Geoff Roach, Dominique’s husband, moving in with Sal brought some initial reservations. Having lost his parents young, he was apprehensive about how the relationship with his father-in-law would evolve in close quarters. To his surprise, the experience deepened their bond; Geoff not only found a supportive presence but also a mentor and role model.
Sal, too, saw the value in this living arrangement, especially with his grandsons. He delighted in their excitement as they woke him up each morning and savored family dinners where everyone shared stories. He appreciated the time spent with his son-in-law on the golf course, transforming what might have been a formal family dynamic into a close friendship.
However, as with any group dynamic, challenges did arise. Sal admits that as the family grew with the addition of a third grandchild, the need for personal space became more pressing. Ultimately, Sal moved to a nearby home while maintaining close contact with his family through regular gatherings and babysitting.
Communication Is Key
For any family considering a multigenerational household, effective communication is paramount. From navigating shared responsibilities to addressing family dynamics, open dialogue helps prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Hao shares his approach to letting his in-laws know if he wouldn’t be joining them for dinner, a small courtesy that goes a long way in maintaining respect.
Each family will have unique preferences and dynamics. If living together is to be a long-term arrangement, it’s essential that values, habits, and boundaries align.
Conclusion: The Rewards and Lessons of Multigenerational Living
Reflecting on the experience, Sal and his family feel grateful for the opportunity multigenerational living provided. While Sal treasures his quieter home now, he remains close to his family, actively involved in his grandkids’ lives and family traditions.
In a world where family bonds and affordability are increasingly valued, the Cohens and Roaches offer a heartwarming example of how multigenerational living can enrich relationships and foster support across generations. Whether driven by financial considerations or the desire to be close to loved ones, multigenerational households are an evolving choice that more families are embracing.
